


Interplanetary Sexting

by greglet



Category: The Martian (2015), The Martian - All Media Types, The Martian - Andy Weir
Genre: AU, Bad Flirting, F/M, Flirting, Idk what to tag this with, flirting at 56 million km, mild sexting, small au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-18
Updated: 2016-12-18
Packaged: 2018-09-09 13:37:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,619
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8892736
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/greglet/pseuds/greglet
Summary: A short excerpt from a budding AU from The Martian where Mindy was able to message and communicate straight with Mark rather than Venkat or JPL. Character hc's born from other Martian work: Ancient Mars.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Think of this as the taster you get about other books at the end of the one you just read.  
> Written as a gift for[ my partner in crime + best bud Shelb ](http://www.shellbow.tumblr.com)

It was late on Earth. Mindy was the last person left in Mission Control from her deskmates to managers - even the security weren’t interrupting her dark quiet. With the quick beep of her computer were delivered the latest images of Arcadia Planitia, and, if course, it’s first, thus-far permanent, resident; Mark Watney.

It had been a few weeks since communications had been established and since it was Mindy’s role to follow him, watch him and learn as much as she could about him to predict future movements, a few managers had elected her to become the point of contact with Mark. It made sense and so far had been effective - he was communicating openly to her and sometimes it even read a little flirty; but that was higher educated geniuses - always finding those double entendres. 

The images she had were in line with a strict routine NASA set Mark - to make contact before he went to bed each night. Most of the time he managed it and on the nights he didn’t, Mindy could usually figure out why. The managers were satisfied with the level of information Mark was passing through Mindy while Mindy was just feeling like a mouthpiece. Still, it wasn’t a bad thing, she enjoyed her chats with Mark, but she still struggled with not being more useful. She was brought out of the approaching rainy mood by another chime of her computer meaning a message from the hacked rover had arrived. 

**ROVER** : you still working?  
**HOUSTON** : Yes, waiting on your progress report.

Sometimes Mindy cringed at her attempts at ‘official language’, and the few times she had called Mark ‘Sir’ were three of the most embarrassing text-based slip ups of her life. Mark swore to get back to Earth alive only to mock her for calling him ‘Sir’.

 **ROVER** : i’ll give you my report on one condition.  
**HOUSTON** : Whatever I can do to help.  
**ROVER** : you answer some of my questions.  
**HOUSTON** : Has there been a hold up in your data dumps? I can look into connections.  
**ROVER** : no, questions about you, Mindy Park.

Mindy’s fingers froze above the keys, her mind replaying Venkat telling her over and over the ‘one thing’ to never forget; ‘Every message is recorded and saved forever and eventually made public’. She had to be careful. 

**HOUSTON** : What can I help you with?  
**ROVER** : how old are you?  
**HOUSTON** : 27  
**ROVER** : the youngest satellite engineer in the world. are you even qualified?  
**HOUSTON** : May I remind you you are only 3 years older than me.  
**ROVER** : no need to be nasty.

Mindy smirked at the response and lay in wait for what she hoped would be a report of today’s actions as well as an emotional check in for the psychologist who had been pressuring her to get Mark to confirm his feelings, not for her to ‘assume’ them.

 **ROVER** : any middle names?  
**HOUSTON** : No.  
**ROVER** : if i requested your employment file, would I find you were lying?  
**HOUSTON** : Yes. It’s Mae. Can I request your daily report?  
**ROVER** : nope, not a chance Mindy Mae Park, not a chance. 

Mindy closed her eyes and sighed, hoping no managers would see this as her fault, and just that Mark decided to be difficult tonight for no reason. 

**ROVER** : brunette?  
**HOUSTON** : Relevance?  
**ROVER** : i’d like to know who i’m talking to.  
**HOUSTON** : Blonde.  
**ROVER** : blue eyes?  
**HOUSTON** : Green.  
**ROVER** : dark or light?  
**HOUSTON** : Light. Can I request your daily report?

Mindy could sense that getting the report from Mark tonight was going to be a challenge, and at midnight, she wasn’t sure how up for that she was. 

**ROVER** : not yet… do you always type so correctly? you seem uptight.  
**HOUSTON** : I prefer ‘responsible’ and ‘professional’. This is my job, Mark.  
**ROVER** : right, got it.  
**ROVER** : what’re you wearing? 

Mindy’s breath hitched as she read the last message over again, not forgetting to add the charming tone she had heard in the pre-mission interviews. Not that it helped to keep the colour out her cheeks or the squeeze of her heart - the messages he had been sending her only amplified how much she admired how well he was surviving. She was endeared by him to say the least and this sort of open flirting on the recorded channel was only making it worse.

 **HOUSTON** : Need I remind you all these messages are officially recorded, released publically and kept for generations as part of history.  
**ROVER** : what’re you wearing…ma’am?

She scoffed at that. Still, even though she was basically in the dark, by herself, at her shrouded desk in NASA, she couldn’t give in and give her messages any other tone than purely functional - even if, had she been at home, she might have given in a little bit. 

**HOUSTON** : Mark, can I please have your daily report before I get pulled up for being weird on the recorded comm channel?  
**ROVER** : no, besides, they know it’s just me being difficult. And Lonely. And if I’m difficult and lonely, doesn’t NASA have to do something for my wellbeing?  
**HOUSTON** : Do you want me to add anything specific the supplies that are being readied for you?  
**ROVER** : you can do that?  
**HOUSTON** : I could ask.

There was a delay over the next few minutes, but delays were normal and to be expected. Still, she had wondered if he had either fallen asleep or was writing her a list. 

**ROVER** : send me a picture.  
**HOUSTON** : Any requests of what?  
**ROVER** : you.  
**HOUSTON** : The best I can do is upload my employee file to your next datadump  
**ROVER** : is there a picture?  
**HOUSTON** : My badge ID, yes.  
**ROVER** : great, do it.  
**HOUSTON** : Can I request your daily report now? 

There was another delay, just long enough for her to redden at what they had been talking about and sigh at the situations she gets herself into - interplanetary sexting that would be recorded and maybe even studied some point in the future. Fuck Mark Watney, she thought, fuck him and his history setting and dragging her into it in the worst way. 

**ROVER** : you haven’t told me what you’re wearing.  
**HOUSTON** : Everything. Give me the report I wanna go home.  
**ROVER** : aw you made me laugh.  
**HOUSTON** : I’m glad, can I get the report, please?  
**ROVER** : are you begging now?  
**HOUSTON** : I have a cat to feed, Mark.  
**ROVER** : what’s it’s name?  
**HOUSTON** : His name is Avie.  
**ROVER** : Avie? is that short for something?  
**HOUSTON** : No. Report, please.  
**ROVER** : i don’t believe you, so no report until you stop lying.  
**HOUSTON** : His name is Avocado Park, please give me the report.  
**ROVER** : you called a cat avocado??  
**HOUSTON** : Yes, and now world history has it documented.

All Mindy could think about was how in a hundred years time when kids in school were learning of the man who lived on Mars, and what they found in the text documents was that some NASA employee called a cat Avocado. She could only wish that she was dead before the ridicule started. 

**ROVER** : good, something that amazing should be recorded.  
**HOUSTON** : Report?  
**ROVER** : isn’t it a bit late to feed a cat?  
**HOUSTON** : My neighbour looks after him mostly, but I always give him something when I get home. Report?  
**ROVER** : how old is Mr Avocado?  
**HOUSTON** : 8 months. Report, please.  
**ROVER** : how long are you going to keep asking for the report?  
**HOUSTON** : Until you give me it.  
**ROVER** : tell me what you’re wearing first.

Mindy was struggling for ideas out of this one. Giving up and telling him meant that she would be forever written in history as some sort of flirt, bending to cater a far off, lonely astronaut, but not saying anything… could it be construed as deliberately harmful to his mental wellbeing?

 **HOUSTON** : I’ll tell you if you tell me what you did today first.  
**ROVER** : good tactics, but not good enough.  
**HOUSTON** : I’ll tell you if you tell me what you’re wearing first, then.  
**ROVER** : well i’m in a spacesuit and not just for fun, i’m pretty sure i need it. But since i dug up that decaying isotope it’s so hot in the rover i gotta like unzip it a bit. Is this working for you?  
**HOUSTON** : So much. Can I have the report now?  
**ROVER** : no! You said you’d tell me after i told you!  
**HOUSTON** : Black jeans, white scoop neck tshirt, grey hoodie. shoes.  
**ROVER** : resplendent.  
**HOUSTON** : Report?  
**ROVER** : in a minute. 

Mindy squinted at her computer. Surely not, she thought, but with a twelve minute delay, she wasn’t sure what to think. 

**ROVER** : okay.  
**HOUSTON** : You really need to remember this chat is recorded.  
**ROVER** : right, i know what you’re insinuating and i’m sorry to break it to you but black jeans, a white tshirt and ‘shoes’ isn’t gonna swing it for me. i was writing the report.  
**HOUSTON** : Sorry.  
**ROVER** : upload3453.rtx [open]  
**HOUSTON** : This is half complete, it finishes at 14:00, is there a malfunction?  
**ROVER** : no, you’ll get the next half when you answer this; when you said you were wearing ‘everything’ was that really the full list?

Mindy groaned as she read the latest message, feeling the embarrassed red stripe across her face heat up. She was glad there was no one else here now, and glad that the usual delay gave her some time to think of a response - one that came from her phone in the form of late night radio news.

 **HOUSTON** : You're a Cubs fan, right?  
**ROVER** : what's that got to do with no underwear?  
**HOUSTON** : Well they just lost 15-3 to the Mariners and I'm telling you this bc you're being gross on the recorded chat.  
**ROVER** : noooooooooooooooooooooooo

**Author's Note:**

> Okay i know it was very short but I hope you liked it!! it also gives away my entire idea. When I finish the current fic i'm doing I'll move onto this au but also continue with the first universe by writing oneshots....... bc i like to keep it confusing af.  
> basically, this au is to itself and i'm gonna make the ancient mars one into a series so nothing gets confusing... unlike this note which is honestly confusing me as i'm typing it..  
> uh. yeah so i hope you laugh at this, let me know if you did. don't tell me if you didn't bc i'd cry.


End file.
